FullMetal's Inbox
by Narcoleptic Spazz
Summary: What if email addresses was invented? When Ed's sent away on a assignment, we take a look at his inbox...


**Disclaimer:** Not mine dammit! So stop spamming me with your emails! XD

**Updated July 21, 2008:** Haha, so yeah.. I finally got back onto this account to really edit all of my HUGE mistakes. There's very little changes to the context, but at least there's better spelling in the story! Hazaah! One thing I'm really irked though is the fact that FFnet won't let me use the 'at' symbol no matter what I put it as. So in place of them, I've decided to put an 'at' instead. Less hassle that way. Sorry about those!

_**Fullmetal's Inbox**_

**By:** Narcoleptic Spazz ( formally known as Shini no Tenshi )

* * *

_To: NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net  
_

_From: The2beFuhrer (at) FlamesAreAwesome. com_

_Subject:_ Re: Made it to the assigned location

Dear Fullmetal,

I'm glad to hear that you made it to your assigned location without any trouble. I'm sorry to hear that Al won't be there with you because of his current situation. Metal Armor would make the mission suspicious and it would cause you more trouble then its worth. Also, I forgot to tell you that this mission will probably take several days to complete. Hope to hear the reports soon.

Roy Mustang

The Flame Alchemist

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: MetalArmorBoy (at) ILoveKittyCats. com_

_Subject:_ Re: Made it to the assigned location

Onii-chan!

Glad to that you made that ok. How's the mission going so far? Any new progress? I wish you would come back soon. As much as I love Winry, she can be pretty scary when it comes to wrenches. Being here at central can be sort of boring without you.

Oh! Guess what I just found yesterday afternoon! I found this one little kitty in the alley behind my hotel. It looked so cute and hungry so I decided to give it a home in out hotel room. And brother, please berate me because of my love of kitties! They'res just too darn cute to resist! Please reply soon.

Love lots,

Al

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: AutomailMechanic (at) wrenches. com_

_Subject:_ Don't break the automail!

Hey Ed. Hope you didn't break the automail yet. You'll know what happens if you do. Be prepared to dodge wrenches when you come back! Anyways, Al seems to have a new kitty since you've been gone. I think he's becoming a little obsessed with it. He won't talk to me anymore because he's too into his cat! Please come home fast to talk some sense into him.

Winry

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: Elysia-is-so-Cute (at) lookatmyphotos. net_

_Subject:_ Too bad your not here

What's up Ed! Oh, you would never guess what happened today! Elysia was able to spell out alchemist and she's only 4! I swear she's the smartest little girl in the world! I also took some new pictures of her too. With her playing her dolls, she's just so adorable! I'll send you some pictures in the attachment. Good luck and be safe on the assignment!

Hughes

_Attachment:_ Lookatallthecutepictures .bmp

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: MetalArmorBoy (at) ILoveKittyCats. com_

_Subject:_ Re: How many times have I told you…

Onii-chan! But the kitty seemed so desperate! I had to give it a home somehow and it was raining the other day! I couldn't have left it out there! You know how I am! Oh boy, I have to end this message soon since Mr. Bubbles (the kitty) is messing up the couch again. Talk to you later Onii-chan!

Al

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: Elysia-is-so-Cute (at) lookatmyphotos. net_

_Subject:_ Ok ok! No need to shout death threats at me…

I only sent you a few pictures of Elysia-chan! Sheesh, you need to learn how to chill. Oh my! Elysia is learning to back a cake with Gracia! I'll get back to you later shrimp. Need to take some more pictures!

Hughes

_Attachment:_ MorelittlepicturesofElysia .bmp

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: TheGunLady (at) Pistolsaremything. net_

_Subject:_ Glad to hear you made it fine.

Edward,

Glad you made it fine there. I hope that Colonel Mustang didn't give a too hard assignment for you. I would've advised you to bring some guns, but I don't think you're too well practiced in that yet. Oh dear, Havoc just got himself in trouble again so I have to get going. Reply back soon.

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: Ed-obsessed-Fangirl (at) FMAfanclub. com_

_Subject:_ OMG! Is this Edward Elric!

Like OMG! Is it!? Like I want to meet you in person so is that, like, okay!? Meet me in front of the fountain in like an hour okay? Okay meet you there sweet thing!

Random Obsessed Fangirl

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: The2beFuhrer (at) FlamesAreAwesome. com_

_Subject:_ Idiot!

God dammit Fullmetal! Were you the one that gave the FMA Fan Club my email address! Now my inbox is full of spam and asking if I was still single! Be prepared to be punished later Fullmetal!

Signed,

An extremely pissed off Flame Alchemist

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From:__ Ladys-Man (at) SmokingLieutenant. net_

_Subject:_ Re: Was it you!?

Ahahah! Yes Fullmetal, I was the one who sent your email address to your Fan Club. Expect some more Fangirlish emails soon! D

Havoc

P.s. I heard Roy ranting off in his office about spamming and the like. Let's just say that I was the one who gave him a 'clue' that you were the one who gave the girls his email...

* * *

_To: __NotAShrimp (at) StateAlchemist. net_

_From: __ MetalArmorBoy (at) ILoveKittyCats. com_

_Subject: Onii-chan!_

Onii-chan! I'm scared… All these girls are outside my window demanding to be let in. What do I do now? AHH! Please come back soon Onii-chan!

Al

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From: __AutomailMechanic (at) wrenches. com_

_Subject:_ You changed your email!

Do you have any idea how long it took me to find your new email address! Hope you havn't broken that automail yet! I don't know what else to say for now… Come home soon.

Winry

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From: TallBlondeBoy (at) tallerandyounger. com_

_Subject:_ Hey! Long time no see Shrimp!

Yo,

How's it going man? Are you still mad at us for using your names? I'll apologize again if you're still pissed! Well, both Fletcher and I are in Central right now. In fact, we're right here with your brother!

Al: Hey Onii-chan! Those girls are finally gone thanks to Russel for letting them chase him all over town and then losing them back at the Central Library.

Anyways, Thanks again for saving us from all that crap from before. But there's one thing I still can't believe, I'm freaking taller and younger then you! How sad is that? Well talk to you later Shorty!

Russel

Aka the person who will always be taller. LOL.

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From:_ _Ed-obsessed-Fangirl (at) FMAfanclub. com_

_Subject:_ Like OMG! You stood me up!

Like, why didn't you show up! And, like, why did you change your email address? It took me so long to find you! I'm like so pissed off now. But you can make it up to me by treating me to dinner. I'll meet you in front of that new restaurant they just opened. You want me to rent a tux for you? Like, see you there sweetheart!

Random Obsessed Fangirl

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From:__ Ladys-Man (at) SmokingLieutenant. net_

_Subject:_ Re: Traitor!

Oh man! This was meant to be a joke dude! I didn't know they were going to go on a man-hunt for you. Oh boy, Roy has just found out that I was the one who gave the fan club his email. I better go before I'm turned into a crisp!

Havoc

P.S. Well it wasn't like I gave your email address to Envy or anything… Oh wait a minute… Opps…

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From:__ TheGunLady (at) Pistolsaremything. net_

_Subject:_ Re: I am the only sane one here!

No Ed, I'm also one of the sane people in the world (thank god), and so is Fury. I'll be sure to shoot Havoc for you. He seems to be driving everyone crazy for the being. I wonder if he should be drinking that much caffeine. We just got a new stock of coffee beans last week and now it's all gone thanks to Havoc. Maybe his name does go with his personality. Oh great, Havoc is treading onto dangerous grounds with Roy. Better save his ass before it turns into ashes. Please come back soon.

Hawkeye

P.S. I won't be responsible for what happens to Havoc if things get out of control.

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From:__ MetalArmorBoy (at) ILoveKittyCats. com_

_Subject:_ It's been a while.

Onii-chan, When are you coming back? It's already been 5 days. Please come back soon. Havoc is causing havoc around Central. It must be the caffeine he's been having. Better get out of Central before it's blown up by Roy. Hurry Back!!

Al

BTW, has Havoc always had a high caffeine intake?

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From: EnvyisSexierthenYou (at) the7homnoculus. net_

_Subject:_ Hey there Hagane no Chibi-chan

Hey there Chibi-chan! Wanted to spam the living hell out of your inbox, so here it is!

Envy

Aka the one who always kicks your ass!

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From:__ Ladys-Man (at) SmokingLieutenant. net_

_Subject:_ I'm fine! Why is everyone calling me insane?

I said I was fine! All I had was some coffee for the past couple of day. Hmm I feel like going to play around with the military's arsenals. Talk to you later man.

Havoc

P.s. I need to go buy some more coffee. We ran out an hour ago.

* * *

_To: EatMyMetalFist (at) alchemyland. com  
_

_From: __Elysia-is-so-Cute (at) lookatmyphotos. net_

_Subject:_ Even I'm going insane here.

I'm guess you've already heard from everyone else that Havoc's been causing chaos around Central. Well they're not the only one who's going to go insane. Maybe we can point him to the Homunculus' place with some machine guns and bazookas and he'll be just fine. I think…

Please come back soon. Apparently you're the only one who can control all this chaos. Sad that not even Roy can control it.

Hughes

* * *

_To: BittersweetRevenge (at) spearsarefun. net  
_

_From:__ The2beFuhrer (at) FlamesAreAwesome. com_

_Subject:_ Re: the Report

Ah, I've seen you've changed your email address again.

I don't see any progress at all on the assignment. I think you should stay there for another week or so and then send me another report. Keep up the good work.

Roy Mustang

P.S. You're off the hook with the punishment. Currently Havoc is being chained upside down from the ceiling fan with tape over his mouth. I don't think he'll be bothering anyone for a while...


End file.
